Mind Matters
Therapeutic coach Lynn Scholes explores emotional freedom, how we can achieve it in the coming year and why it’s a prize worth fighting for
Firstly, what do we mean by emotional freedom and does anyone really have it? If you are someone who has been consumed or simply affected by negative thoughts for part, or all of your life, it’s maybe hard to believe that you can remove that internal chatter and self doubt. Has there been an acceptance over time that ‘It’s just me’?
Take a moment to consider what would it be like to be free of this weight? I would like you to ask yourself four questions, writing down your answers:
• What would life be like without those challenging thoughts?
• What would I do if I didn’t have so many doubts and fears?
• Why should I accept that this is as good as it gets?
• What stops me sorting out this problem I have had for so long?
The answer to the last one is the most complex but important. In life generally when we have a problem we try to sort it out. So often we can see and touch a problem – it maybe with a car, a next door neighbour, the window cleaner not showing up. However, when it comes to our thoughts, we push that challenge to one side and live with it, even though it lasts far longer and has a far bigger impact on our lives than all the other problems put together. We can’t see it, we can’t touch it, so we can’t resolve it. That is just simply not true.
Our thoughts are the CEO of our lives. They can (for the lucky ones) be a good boss that likes you, empowers you, rewards you, supports you and develops you. They can give you freedom to reach your true potential. Or they can be the micro-managing boss that stifles you, constantly shows they don’t trust you, ignores your successes and focuses on your failures. Which boss does your thoughts represent?
> Thoughts > Beliefs > Behaviours > Outcomes
This explains everything. It shows clearly why everything starts with our thoughts. Each ‘thought’ triggers a ‘belief’ that leads to a ‘behaviour’ that results in an ‘outcome’. Just think about a single negative thought you have and ask yourself what belief, behaviour and outcome does that generate?
Ask yourself how helpful that thought is to you? Once we identify the thought and challenge the belief system, the control passes away from the CEO and back into your own hands.
In therapy we discover where the thoughts originate from and learn how to challenge them. The moment you change one thing in the management of your thoughts, everything changes.
So many clients arrive wanting to change their behaviours but the journey always begins with understanding the thoughts and challenging the beliefs those thoughts generate.
A good way to begin is to ‘performance review’ the CEO (your thoughts). How is the CEO doing? Do they deserve that key role in your life?
The great news is you can re-write the script. It is all about digging deep, doing the work, making the changes and moving into a happier life. The choice is yours.
Changing the thoughts that lead to belief is like getting a new boss, it changes everything. This time you have chosen the boss, one that supports and empowers you.
At this time of year a lot is made of goal-setting but this can begin on any day of the year.
So, what are you waiting for? Make the commitment – there are lots of books out there to get you started. However, if you are curious about working with me, please pick up the phone and let’s have a chat – no commitment, no hard sell, just a genuine passion for ensuring that you are managed by the right CEO.
Lynn Scholes is a writer, therapeutic coach, trainer and speaker working with individuals and companies.
To find out more contact Lynn on 07753 579745 or go to: focus101.co.uk
