Mind Matters
Therapeutic coach Lynn Scholes looks at resilience and asks, ‘How is your bounce-back-ability?’
The Oxford English dictionary describes resilience as, ‘The ability of a person or thing to recover after an unpleasant experience such as a shock or injury’, or in other words, it is the core strength we use to lift the load of life.
We all have resilience, but at vastly different levels, and resilience can change significantly at various times in our life. We may be incredibly resilient in a work situation but in our home life that may be very different. It can also ebb and flow as we deal with challenges that come up. However, the good news is that with knowledge and focus, even when resilience is low, it can be developed. We can assess our resilience now – we don’t need to wait for a crisis to work on and strengthen it.
Resilient people have many of the same challenges as everyone else, they just view them and deal with them differently. They have a toolbox of things that will support them through adversity, some of which are internal and others external. All resilience starts with how we view any situation, and the view needed to deal with life’s ups and downs comes from having that toolkit and knowing when and how to use it.
Those lacking in resilience see life through a different lens, lots of black and white thinking, they feel overwhelmed or helpless and they can come to rely on unhealthy coping strategies including avoidance, isolation and self-medication such as smoking more, drinking, drug use and gambling. All these are simply signs that there is something in our lives that we aren’t able to cope with or get beyond.
Post pandemic has been a busy time for all therapeutic coaches with many clients contacting us with a variety of issues. However, when analysed, often the issues people are presenting with are caused by the huge challenge to our resilience caused by the pandemic. It is interesting to note though that sometimes there may never have been a large event that challenged our resilience, but rather a series of small things that break resilience down. We can become weary and lose that ability to bounce back. Even small things affect us hugely.
To help redress that balance, measure how resilient we are at the moment and build the pillars of resilience that need building. I have created a Resilience Workbook, which gives you the tools needed to build that core strength that helps you carry and address the ‘load of life’. In sessions, we have the opportunity to work through the book and rebuild.
Personally, I have always been very resilient. A natural ‘positive reframer’. I wore my resilience like a badge of honour all my life! That is until 2015, when over that one year, I had three major challenging events that rocked me. I was shocked that in 2016 I woke up one morning with zero resilience. It was strange and scary. I used the tools and techniques that I have now collated, and I am happy to say that they worked!
To find out if therapeutic coaching could work for you contact Lynn at focus101 on: 07753 579745
