The Divorce Lawyer’s Diary
Divorce lawyer, Elspeth Kinder from JMW, talks about new beginnings and the importance of taking early advice
Spring is the season that signifies new beginnings and this year, as we emerge from lockdown and edge back toward normality, so many of us are looking forward to a fresh start. As a parent, Covid-19 created many challenges, but there were also moments of joy.
I’m fortunate to have spent time with my children enjoying the beautiful Ribble Valley countryside – and joining what at times felt like the entirety of Lancashire atop Pendle Hill! Sadly, as a divorce lawyer, I know that others have not fared quite so well.
When lockdown was announced, I knew that enquiries would inevitably rise as a result of couples being confined to the same house for weeks on end. When I spoke with people about their situation and their reasons for divorce, many had been considering a separation for some time but had been putting it off – often there had been no infidelity or any real wrongdoing but the relationship was no longer fulfilling or they simply disliked their spouse and the pressure of lockdown finally proved too much.
Having gone through a divorce myself, I know that coming to terms with the end of your marriage, at a time when a simple hug from your best friend is forbidden, must be very difficult. I’m sure I’m not alone in my relief at finally being able to offer my clients a tissue, comfort and support in person once again.
As the country begins to open-up, the desire for a fresh start can be seen in the enquiries my team and I are receiving – people are deciding to go ahead with separations they have been considering for some time – they just want to go out and enjoy life. Others tell us that the pandemic put things into perspective and encouraged them to leave relationships they feel have run their course.
By their very nature, divorces are incredibly emotional, but I’m always keen for people to understand that divorce does not have to be confrontational and aggressive and the key to that is careful thought and planning, which can often take some time. So often we see divorce portrayed as a fast, exhausting and emotionally draining process but, managed properly and with the right advice, that need not be the case.
I always advise people thinking about divorce to take early advice and give yourself time to come to terms with what is happening as well as how you want your life to look after your separation. It is a complex process with a lot of different considerations so it’s always best to start the conversation as early as possible.
A positive change for the divorce process is expected to come into effect later this year, with the government removing the requirement to apportion blame. A cause of conflict and unnecessary strife, I will be very pleased to see the advent of no-fault divorce. I expect that there will be some people waiting for the law to change before going ahead with plans for divorce, but autumn is around the corner and early preparation and planning will stand you in good stead – both emotionally and financially.
