Not Drowning, But Waving
The Lytham Artist Painting up a Storm to Promote Mental Health
With rising mental health issues exacerbated by the Covid pandemic creating a perfect storm for an already overstretched NHS, Kate Bowyer meets Carla Raads, whose very personal journey through depression has led to her creating her own ‘perfect storms’ – on canvas
It would be a lucky person indeed who had navigated the last eighteen months without worries around family, jobs, finances, or mental health. The crisis has brought to a head many everyday stresses we place ourselves under, thanks to life’s increasing pace and pressure.
In a month where mental health is given the prominence it deserves, artist Carla Raads is driving for open, honest and supportive conversations about stress and depression. It’s also intrinsically linked to the unique and very hands-on way she creates her artwork, as I am to discover.
Born and raised on the Eastern Cape coast of South Africa, Carla’s family knew they could always find her on the beach, as she describes: “In thrall to the sound, the powerful thunder of the rising tide.”
Moving aged 16 to the UK with her family and settling on the Fylde coast, the familiarity of the sea helped Carla feel at home, and sealed her lifelong love of the wildest elements of nature.
Studying fine art at Blackpool College, Carla went on to study design and interiors at Manchester Metropolitan University, after which her striking looks were spotted by a modelling scout. The unplanned and high-octane 12-year modelling, acting and presenting career which followed led to her paintbrushes lying fallow for longer and longer periods.
Looking at the powerful, vivid sea and skyscapes gracing the walls of her light-filled Lytham home, it’s hard to envisage the dark path that drew Carla back to rediscovering her creativity ten years later. Describing that moment, Carla simply holds up her hands.
“These are my only paintbrushes and I like to say that makes them bigger than anyone else’s! It certainly wasn’t planned, in 2017, I was in a loving, stable relationship, happily pregnant, but then I sank into severe postnatal depression. Something so many women suffer from, I really want to help remove the stigma that can still cloak women getting help. Outside you present a ‘front’ of coping – being a mum, breast feeding, robotically putting meals on the table, but inside you are totally lost, and terrified.
“It’s like being lost in a crowd. My husband and family were, and continue to be, incredibly supportive, and I had a great group of mums around me, but I think that’s what women especially do, we blame ourselves for failing unrealistic high standards, and tell ourselves we’re undeserving of help. Because I had bonded with my son, I didn’t even realise this crippling tiredness, anxiety and disconnect could be postnatal depression, I blamed hormones and my own inadequacies – sounds familiar?” I find myself nodding.
“I’m hoping by sharing my personal journey I can help women find the strength to find their own voice, self-worth, and path to health. In the depths of it, one night I couldn’t sleep and was overtaken by an urgent desire to paint. After 10 years, I had no oils or canvases, I used some old flooring, and a pot of emulsion left over from the decorating! I never even looked for brushes, instinctively I just plunged my hands into the pot and spread them across the canvas.”
Carla’s first paintings were of dark, stormy, encroaching seas: “I continue to paint through instinct, using my bare hands to channel the energy of the elements,” she says, leading me into her basement studio, where she worked first when son Clifton was in bed, and now while he is at school. “It was only when I realised the storms had given way to vibrant, powerful waves and sun-gilded, scudding clouds, I realised my vision was literally, like my health, looking up.”
Now a full-time artist, exhibiting her work via Instagram also gives Carla a platform to share her story and connect, inspire and help other women: “I’m lucky to have my art, but I don’t consider myself special, or a victim, I feel more like a warrior, as we all can be! I don’t regret anything, including my time away from art, I would not be the artist and person I am without those life experiences.
“Modelling in itself is an art form, you are a creative tool helping realise someone’s vision. It also taught me discipline, and the thick skin you need as an artist, just like any self-employed person, or anyone faced with significant life and career changes, post-Covid.”
They say a picture paints a thousand words, but what message would Carla choose? “That everyone deserves to be well, mentally as well as physically. Value yourself enough to ask for help, dream big and remember the dark periods don’t last. Storms can be a blessing and the light will eventually shine through. Keep pushing forward and keep focussed on something that you love. It might be art, singing or even just getting out for a run – but whatever your thing is, know you are not alone, you’re amazing and worth it.”
